April 23, 2007

I Tell Ya!

I've had a busy/crazy week over here.

Had a fender bender which FM#1 pointed out didn't involve the fender at all. I got rear-ended with all three kids in the car along with someone else's child, too! That isn't supposed to happen! This mom was very calm about it though. Bless her heart. Although I attribute it to the fact that she's been on prescription narcotics for three weeks.

Everyone was fine, and to quote Pastor Bob I Ran Over a Chicken on my Way to Poughkeepsie, "Thanks be to God!" FM#2 was in the Way Back! No damage to my car either.

Then I had an eye appointment. Now, I must say that I have been wearing corrective lenses since 5th grade. They were the wire frames shaped like a stop sign. Cool, I tell ya!

Then I upgraded to the huge plastic frames popular in the late 70's. Cool, I tell ya!

Then I got the plastic frame/metal side variety. Again, I'm telling ya -- cool!

10th grade was the Year of the Contacts. Freedom!

But HolyChow still wouldn't let me wear mascara, only blush and lip gloss. Not cool, I tell ya. Yes, I'm still bitter.

I've always been a good contact lens wearer. The longest time between appointments for me was six years, until last week. I thought it had been eight, but they told me it was nine.

How did they know? They took my glasses to check the prescription and came back and said the prescription was nine years old. I'm convinced it is a conspiracy among the optometrical society whereby they insert a microchip into your lenses stating the date on which the prescription was given (and it probably lists things like "naps too long in her contacts" or "needs to cut fingernails").


Okay, okay, so it's been nine years. My doctor didn't chastise me or anything so he gets a repeat visit from me and maybe, just maybe, it will be less than nine years from now.

My prescription hadn't changed that much and I don't need bifocals. Hurray!

The purpose of this visit was to get new contacts and glasses. I'm taking a leap and getting disposable contacts. This guarantees I'll have to go back in a year. Although just between us (shhhh!) I'm going to try and wear them longer than a month. I'm a really good contact lens wearer, I tell ya!

I let the 24 year old assistant help me pick out frames for my glasses. I wanted to go with the rimless variety, but she insisted that would be a big mistake. She personally hates the rimless kind (something about "old lady") and said it would be "a whole lotta lens" with my prescription.

So I put my trust in her and ended up with a small rectangular frame. Quite a change from my tortoise shell frames that cover half my face and are a great source of humor for my kiddoes. My sister even laughed at them!

I'll also have to get a part-time job to pay for it all because we don't have vision insurance and - man! It was expensive, I tell ya!

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